Memorial Service: Part 1

Music: The Lark Ascending, Vaughan Williams

Speaker, Gunter Mehler                  

Dear mourners,

I would like to introduce myself: My name is Gunter Mehler, I am a free and non-denominational theologian. Let me guide you through the ceremony today to honour and to bid farewell to Mrs. Ya Ching Tan.

Dear Mr. White,
dear Mr. Tan,
I welcome you as the closest relatives, together with all your loved ones, on this Wednesday morning!

Dear relatives, friends and work colleagues, a warm welcome to all of you!

Unfortunately some people appreciating Ya Ching Tan and people she cared about cannot accompany us in this sad hour – for good and understandable reasons.
Their thoughts are certainly here with us.

Nearly four weeks have passed since Ya Ching Tan left the world and us.

After all those years where it seemed that she had survived cancer, the illness now struck back with force. A few last weeks, in which she was brave and found enormous strength in her heart.
She said goodbye to her friends around the world in person
And she said “Yes, I will” to Colin. She entered the marriage “retroactively” with Colin, who she had had a common past with for 17 years.

In her last days she was well looked after in a palliative hospital run by the “Barmherzige Brüder”. She left us at peace, confident that she will one day be reunited with us.

Life is finite.
As a candle is burning,
it lights up,
it shines in the warmth and beauty.

In the light we see.
In the light we are seen.
The flames dance and life will be fulfilled.

It has been a very strange time - strange that now since her death,
similar to the time between Christmas and Epiphany – it is called "between the years".
The old has not yet been completed and the new has not yet begun.

One is simply in the middle.
In our minds, it is becoming clear: Ya Ching Tan is no longer there.
You start to think even, "Thanks that you were there. We have experienced many things in common. Thank you that you were as you were."

As I said: You really know everything - but ...
in the heart and soul of it, everything looks quite different - nothing is clear.

The heart and the soul must be able to say goodbye.
The heart and the soul need a ceremony to grasp the inconceivable.

For it is simply inconceivable when a loved and respected woman dies. A person, who accompanies you in so many ways, will now suddenly no longer be here.

Then we are gathered in front of her urn.
Few people are commonly or even regularly in contact with an urn. Then the surprise is often quite large: is this supposed to be all that remains of a human being?

Yes, in fact, all Material that is left after the cremation of a human being fits into such a vessel.
All this makes the event even more incredible and strange.

Nevertheless, you should not supplant this knowledge and you should not be blinded and fall into despair.
A human being who goes from us, but leaves traces that remain with us:
Ya Ching Tan's energy,
the memories that it triggers,
the gifts and tasks to which their actions in life are encouraging all the people she had liked and loved.

If possible, please try to leave the idea behind; that whatever your dear deceased, your friend Ya Ching Tan has been to you will be included in this urn.

The traces left by her remain unchanged.

With death, you lose much
- Except the memories of your time together.
In addition:
Those memories are the paradise
from which no one can be expelled.

Ya Ching Tan led a rewarding life. She was satisfied with her life and looking back: she would not want to change anything.

In a short while companions from different stages of her life will have their say – At this point, I want to take only a brief look at the important dates of her life.

She was born on 16th June 1955.
At 19, she started studying in Singapore. A woman at University studying Electrical & Electronic Engineering was not common in Singapore at that time. There were six female engineers, the “Engine Girls”, on the engineering course – all kept in close touch ever afterwards.

At the age of 23, she had her first job at Singapore Telecom – she soon made her first business trip to Siemens in Munich.

In 1984, at the age of 29, she moved to DGMS in New Jersey. She wrote her very own notebook on the technology and system, and when she left it became the company ‘Bible’ for the system.

Then in 1992, she finally moved to Munich – to act as a consultant at Siemens.
Wherever she has been, she made friends with work colleagues.

Then in 1994, Ya Ching and Colin became a couple – living their lives in Munich.

In 1999, both travelled around the world, visiting their friends all over.
That same year, they moved into their dream home.

With 50, breast cancer was discovered. However, she won the struggle.
From then on she lived healthier and sportier than ever before.

With 54 years, early retirement was necessary due to company reasons.
She finally accepted that and made the best of her time, even though she actually would have wanted to work.

This is just a small glimpse over the phases of her life.
Far more important than that is how Ya Ching Tan lived during that time - and how you experienced Ya Ching Tan.

Therefore, I want to pass the word to all the people who liked, cherished and loved Ya Ching Tan.